The Blue Period.

"The Old Guitarist" Pablo Picasso

I haven't booked anything commercially in awhile, and, because I'm aiming for larger roles, I'm not getting out much theatrically either.

I'm in class again, and I have done one scene, but have mostly been watching the other actors since then.  Learning, gaining inspiration and insight.

I've also been a bit intimidated.

This class is different from any class that I've ever taken - I have more freedom  - to choose my scenes, to choose my scene partners, to direct my own work, rehearse as much (or as little) as I want, and get feedback.  And some of the other actors are BRILLIANT.  I've been asking myself "Do I have that?  Can I do that?"

And I've been unusually apprehensive about making mistakes.  Which is DEATH for artistic impulses.  I'm working through it all right now.

Also, last week was the re-shoot for the pilot that I booked in January.  My scene was outside, and the first time I was scheduled to shoot, it was pouring rain, so they had to send me home.  This time we actually shot it... and it was such a wide shot that I don't even know if I'll be recognizable.

So I'm plugging away, and at the same time, keeping a close eye on my pennies, because I never know where my next dime is coming from, and it's very easy to run through savings, even WITH responsible spending.  I may have to stop painting at the studio for awhile.  I have an easel at home, but I get distracted when I paint at home, so I really need to book something big soon.  Or something.

This is the gig.  Or a large part of it, anyway.  It looks glamorous from the outside, and parts are, but the majority of the work is done in the trenches.  It's the stuff that people don't see, and when they do see it, they often judge from a place of not understanding.

But this is what I do.  And part of "doing this" is making a way where none is readily visible.


--Nicole